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22nd October, 2008
01:27 pm - Test
Seeing what this looks like on Soup.
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Half-Life: Full-life Consequences
John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.
John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go.
John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.
The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".
John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.
"I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said
"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.
"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.
John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ravenholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.
John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.
John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.
Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.
When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said "John Freeman! Over here!" so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.
Gordon Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Gordon Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.
The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said "NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and John Freeman walked real fast out.
John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.
"I'll get you back evil boss!" John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.
to be continued..?
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5th September, 2008
09:36 pm - Silent Hill sound scheme
I think I forgot to post this months and months ago. Receive this!
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I got bored with the default Windows XP sound scheme, so I made this. It's all sounds taken from the first game and how I've arranged them all. You may want to tweek the volume of some of them at least - personally I prefer a soft robble-robble noise when someone connects to Messenger and a piercingly loud baby-squeak when I'm running low of disk space as punishment for all the torrenting.
Download them here.
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23rd August, 2008
05:09 pm - One-handed sandwich packet opening
On Friday, after one false start last week, I finally had my first donation of magic yellow goo extruded from my only needle-friendly and most dexterous arm, so considering I'm normally very right-handed it turned picking up a heavy mug of tea into Crotch-Burning Russian Roulette. Overall it was about as painless as a whole blood donation, but took a lot longer. It was the first time I've ever had anything shoved back in so that was a bit different -- the anti-coagulant agent gave my blood a slight chill, and and my lips permanently had that "first kiss" tingle due to citrate pollution.
I was invited to join the blood clinic in Tooting at St George's Hospital after some previous analysis revealed I had a good platelet count, don't bruise, have never feinted, and am an unemployed layabout with nothing else to do so I may as well help AIDS sufferers, cancer patients, and new-born babies with post-natal trauma survive using my bodily fluids. The vein gravy was pumped out, spun in a Wall of Death centrifuge so that these smallest cells in the plasma could be isolated and syphoned off for a greater purpose, and then they shove the doggy-bag of leftovers back into me.
Unlike a whole blood donation they want me in twice as frequently (every four weeks or so) and I'll be sure to try my best to make it there as often as I can. And there's not a lot of positive reasons I can think of to visit a hospital. I may as well make the most of it.
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This entry was copy-pasta'd from the still barren Normal View since I have no idea how to make cross-posting happen yet.
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16th August, 2008
04:47 pm - FREE STUFF #01
'Far Cry: Instincts' for Xbox (PAL)
Something I'll never get around to finishing. First comment reserves it, send address if you don't think I have it to my email address (in my profile). Please only take it if you want it, because I'll put it in with the charity bag otherwise.
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15th August, 2008
11:35 pm - Attention VK and lolifags
There was a drama circa 2004-05 I saw in Japan I've just remembered about that was quite fun viewing. It stars an all girl VK band tryign to make it big. The ending sequence to each episode involved spacking around in a forest, eating poisoned mushrooms and dying.
Name plz!
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26th July, 2008
11:29 am - The NHS permits my fluids going inside babies
I've just received a letter from the National Blood Service regarding more regular donations. I've been a blood donor off-and-on for eleven years now and they seem impressed with the volume of platelets my body churns out, and since I've never had any complications when donating and my blood group is uncommon (A-ve) I'm wanted for further testing at a local-ish hospital to check they're happy with my coagulant minions going to very young children and the elderly with bone marrow issues.
Needles and the donating process don't really bother me but I've not been to a hospital since I was two years old, and I could end up going once a month and thus be joining in with the rest of you regular sickies reading!
So in short: IM ACSHULLY INVITED AND I R USEFULL LOL \o/
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20th July, 2008
06:32 pm - OH SHI-, AmeCon!
I'm going, but don't know how yet - space traveling with Nic or Dez is full, so here's the deal:
I'd really like to car pool from the South East or London. I live in Sutton which is here-ish and have a fair few boxes to take with me since I'm fan dealing as per usual, so car boot space would be excellent. I'll split fuel costs of course, and would quite like to leave early enough on the Friday to unload at the campus and get my table set up. I've booked a room for Sunday night so I can leave Monday morning or Sunday night (though I'd like to stay until Monday).
So if you fit the bill and can help, please leave a comment or email me. Or if you know another kind sort with a back seat free and a petrol tank to fill, please feel free to pass on my contact details.
There shall certainly be some drinks on me too. :)
Cheers!
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15th July, 2008
12:15 am - Twenty-[BALEETED]
As part of the Useless Men Protection Program, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) chococat has kindly gifted me a change of identity and a fresh start, and some more choclick caek has made me sufficiently bloated. All I need now is a new face and I'm sorted for life! LJ has certainly fallen by the unused side, and I was actually going to start a more SERIUS blog at WordPress or Blogspot soon for less chummy and more personal things. I still read friends' updates and comment, so no worries there.
Lots of Rock Band victories were had at the weekend after super oko-NOM-NOM-NOM-iyaki gets (nice to see you all!) - Choco, hachimaki and myself all clearing tracks on Hard Mode by the end of Sunday. It's a shame we'll never be a good as Unexplained Bacon, High-Octane Vomit Lust, or Feltch, but we're comfortable with our own brand of "Eggs delight! Hen tonight!".
Today I:
- Watched The Happening which was hilariously predictable and had the biggest guns Chekhov ever designed. I stubbornly maintain that The Village is actually quite good, and this at least helps strengthen that case. Shamalamaramadingdong, go and work for George Lucas, your time has come.
- Watched MST3K: The Movie, how have I not been addicted to this show for the last few years?! (My new LJ name was almost 'bigmclargehuge' or 'rollfizzlebeef')
- Played some Battlefail: (Made By A) Bad Company and died a little more inside. Am eBaying it very soon now, the consistent 8/10 scores are utterly baffling to anyone who's played good FPSs over the last ten years. Just baffling.
- Ate at Noodle Foodle in Mordern. rachelmei! The bloke who runs it is Korean! I recognised a bit of his moonspeak.
- Played some Call of Duty 4 with all of my best mates who definitely weren't all watching Big Brother instead, not at all.
- Spazzed around a bit.
- BYE THEN!
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5th July, 2008
09:28 pm - Evangeliwonky
(With cardboard mech costumes and a thousand yard stare)
( More! )
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21st June, 2008
14th May, 2008
12:12 am - Oh yeah, Japan 2008
(Here's my version of events. If you want further explanation on any of the below, then you require more help than I do and can copy-pasta in the comments.)
"Oh hey, we're in the future!"
- "Yup: eight hours, and fifteen years"
Gaijin beard bukkake
Getting into clubs without ID: Priceless.
For everything else, there's Mastercard
"TELL ME!"
- "Curry!"
Rick rolling? Rick Rolly!
#I was made to hit an America~~~n...
"Bloody twats, sticking their fags into me."
- "Yeah, bloody fags, sticking their twats into me."
Two Girls, One Pen
One Barry, One-Cup Ozeki
"Her one's got a nipple in the middle, I haven't seen one like that for ages."
"How are you? I'm fine!"
- Gary Scott Fine
PLEASE DON'T SHIT HERE
Knt!
"Egg and bacon baked inside a bread roll? Quids in!"
Vote skip! Vote skip! Vote skip!
"Wow, they're *literally* using the Noob Tube."
Long shower is looooong, French man is Freeeeench
"Barry, go and buy me a Coke from that [Coke] vending machine [absolutely full of Coke]
- "Okay. [Clink-clink, thunk]..... umm, is this Coke?"
"No."
Mr Bean energy drink? Don't do it!
"Ahh! Monkey!"
Sarah Chinko, Jumbo Slot
#(I wanna live like...) COME ON PEOPLE!
'No service charge, no tax, cocktail, party, joy... then?'
"So what're you looking for?"
- "Nothing."
"Oh right, there it is then."
- "Oh yeah!"
Pre-minstrel tension
#I got my fist, I got my plan, I got my flappy hands...
Rapids train? It's too watery.
#And little lambs eat ice-crea~~~m
Barista? Barrysta!
"Your money or you life!"
- "But, but, I don't have either..."
Mingey-houdai
"Hmm, when was Taisho 8?"
- "Yesterday, about 3 o'clock."
'2 Spicy'? It's too spicy.
"She's dead! Wrapped in plastic!... And costs only 500 yen? Bargain!"
'Good ale, tomorrow, for nothing.'
Om-rice? OM-NOM-NOM-rice.
Campaign For Real Fail
"Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?"
- "The computer chose the same character as me! it's not my fault! Leave me alone!"
Nic's favourite band: Cher
"That's gayer than Gay, The Musical, about gays being gay."
ENEMAGEDDON!
Oh! GON!!
Fizzy Orange Jelly Fanta? Too orangey? TOO ORANGEY FOR CROWS.
"These prices are blasphemy! This is madness!"
- "THIS. IS. PORTA!!"
"Now you're dining with Portas."
- "It's too Portary."
I htink Silent Hill is a pretty cool guy. Eh rapes manneqiuns and doesn't afraid of anything.
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10th April, 2008
05:28 pm - Housekeeping #FINAL
1) I'm now living down south within the Greater London boundry. New address is in my top most entry. As for Bristol: Bye then!
2) I'm off to Japan for two weeks with three sexy men, so as for London: Bye then!
3) Additionally: BYE THEN!!
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12:02 am - Housekeeping #6: Silent Windows
I got bored with the default Windows XP sound scheme some time last year, so I made this. It's all sounds taken from the first game and how I've arranged them all in the Sounds and Audio Devices menu. You may want to tweek the volume of some of them at least - personally I prefer the soft robble-robble noise when someone connects to Live Messenger, and a piercingly loud baby-squeak when I'm running low of disk space (as punishment for all the torrenting).
Download them here.
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9th April, 2008
11:34 pm - Housekeeping #5: Become One-Thousand Winds
I happened upon a parody of the 'Hakkan CM' segment from Hello! Morning (probably while searching me up some "piko piko" nonsense) and have been semi-following this random guy. There's not been much recently, but he did go along to the Osaka leg of a round the world race and decided to join in with the running... in a typically non-intrusive Japanese way of course.
The song stuck with me. It was in the Oricon Top 40 for almost the entire year as I recall.
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5th April, 2008
01:32 am - Me My Mine Meme
This one's easy, therefore I can be arsed to do it.
1. My username is _____ because ____.
ChaosDefrost, which is a setting on a few microwaves I've used that sounded pretty fucking hardcore. When I get a paid account and change my username, the frankly Web 1.0 'shinin9_fin9er' will be well and truly deaded!
2. My name is _____ because ______.
Barry, because my mum liked the BeeGees.
3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.
'Fish shaped etholbenzyne', because of Portal.
4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.
'85.2FM', because of Portal. (And it doesn't intentionally suggest that reading all of your posts is an endlessly repeating monotony!)
5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.
'Delicious Cake', because of Portal.
It's been many months now, it needs changing. We'll see what new meme is (re)discovered in a few weeks.
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2nd April, 2008
04:49 pm - Housekeeping #4: Japan 2007
I found a bunch of notes regarding music that myself and Nic and Rob enjoyed, sang, suffered, or got bullied with in Japan last year, and since the next trip is coming up it's time we all relive those moments whether you want to or not. Click below for the ZIP file, and the individual tracks for some PVs that are worth checking owwwt, boi!
Japan 2007 April/May Soundtrack
Get Chuu! - AAA
Buiikikaesu!! - Maximum The Hormone
Kanashimi Twilight - Morning Musume
We Can Make It! - Arashi
Happy - Kirari Tsukishima (Koharu Kusumi)
Cry Baby - Seamo
Punkish - Mihimaru GT
X ~Dame~ - Tackey & Tsubasa
One - Metallica
CHU-LIP - Otsuka Ai
Zukkoke Otoko-Michi - Kanjani8
Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
Shingo Mama no Oha Rock - Katori Shingo
Tsumasaki - Beat Crusaders
Beautiful Life - ET-KING
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight - Beat Crusaders
Super Special Hidden Track - ???
Hopefully they're all numbered and named correctly and with album artwork, I had to dick around in iTunes a bit more than I was expecting (and Explorer doesn't seem to agree with a few things like track numbers).
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30th March, 2008
06:27 pm - Free stuff #1: Old Convention Nonsense
Right then, if you want to pretend you're an "oldfag" and a convention veteran since 1998, this is for you:
Con books
Minami 4
Minami 5
Minami 6
Minami 7
Minami 8
Minami 9
Minami 10
Minami 12
AyaCon 1998
AyaNext 1999
AyaReturns 2002
AyaAgain 2003
Bags
Minami 7
Minami 8
Minami 10
Minami 12 (cloth)
AyaCon (cloth)
All yours or for someone you at the price of FREE FREE FREE, but shipping costs would be lovely.
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04:13 pm - Housekeeping #2: Free Japanese lessons
I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned this before, so here goes. I try to listen to these more often than I succeed, but it's not half bad stuff. There are newbie, beginner, lower intermediate, intermediate, and all Japanese blogs available, plus some culture classes normally relating to what's happening in Japan at the time of broadcast (holidays, festivals, etc). No matter what your level, you'll find something handy if you go far back enough. One of the English speaking presenters has the kind of Japanese pronunciation that makes me want to pour glue down my ears, but it's FREE FREE FREE!
You can find them at http://www.japanesepod101.com or on iTunes. I've never used the website, but it looks like there's a lot of tools on there and PDF files with full transcripts. Worth 30mins a day for a few weeks if you fancy giving it a try. Let's desu!
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29th March, 2008
03:33 pm - Housekeeping #1: Portal Relapse
Though denied the opportunity to play it through again recently, that didn't stop me collecting a load of nonsense. So for anyone who's interested, here are all the mp3s I've managed to vacuum up from YouTube, YTMND and elsewhere, but if you have any more, please comment or email them and I'll add them too. Also don't forget that the Bring Your Daughter To Work day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Portal OST
01 Subject Name Here
02 Taste of Blood
03 Android Hell
04 Self Esteem Fund
05 Procedural Jiggle Bone
06 4000 Degrees Kelvin
07 Stop What You Are Doing
08 Party Escort
09 You're Not a Good Person
10 No Cake For You
11 You Can't Escape You Know
12 Still Alive
Portal extras
Still Alive (Atomic Inc Remix)
Still Alive (Funtastic Power, unfinished remix)
Still Alive (Karaoke Box Remix)
Still Alive (Piano Arrange)
Still Alive (Techno Remix)
85.2FM radio loop (one loop)
85.2FM radio loop (11 minutes)
The Device Has Been Modified (Portal samples)
MOAR PLZ!
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20th March, 2008
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